Worst Blogger EVER

That's me. I'm really bad at blogging. I don't have time.

I'm getting ready to go to Africa, it's going to be amazing. I'm nervous, I'm scared, and I'm excited. I've been crying off and on for a week or so. It's a little crazy.

I'm nervous to leave my kids, I know they're going to be taken care of, but still their my babies...and I have control issues. Which has brought on a lovely set of mind games. They won't need me, they'll realize how much better life is without me, blah, blah, blah. It's been fun. Thinking on what is good and right...God doesn't want my family broken apart and I shouldn't be thinking on such things. Focus. 

I'm scared to get on the plane. Again, control issues. Someone else is in control of the vehicle I'll be in, which will be a bazillion miles in the air. I've never used a plane restroom, I've always been to scared to leave my seat..and I don't like public restrooms. Oh goodness! 

I'm excited for this experience. I'm happy to be going to love on children, I love kids. But we are also going to have a chance to go into the village and talk with and love on people. I think I am most excited about this part of the trip. I love people! I know this trip is going to change me so much, it's going to be good. It's going to be a wake up call I'm sure. I think I know, but I don't. You can't until you've seen. I want to have open eyes. 

Going to start packing my stuff this week and make sure I'm not missing anything. 

Once Upon A Time....

It looked like I had my life together. One husband, two kids, lots of laughter, friends. Yeah, it was good.

 Then God got a hold of me. 

I met God when I was a kid, about 10 or so. At 14 or 15 I started to run. I ran right into trouble. Oh, it was fun though. Especially that horrible feeling when you know deep down you're making all the wrong choices.

 On the outside it looked grand. I had friends, I laughed a lot, I was always having fun. 

On the inside I was dying. What people couldn't see was the sadness of my heart, what people didn't know was that my marriage wasn't going to last much longer. 

God saved me, He saved my family. I ended up in a wonderful church, with beautiful people. The people I meet were real, they were kind, they were giving, they hugged you (which was kinda weird for me) and it was genuine. It was all so nice, but still God wasn't for me...or so I thought. 

Turns out God is for me (and you). I slowly started to see this. God wanted my marriage to succeed, He wanted my heart to be full of joy. I wasn't made to live in misery. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 

I turned my life over. Things have been peachy ever since. Rainbows, confetti, and unicorns. 

Nope, my marriage has it's ups and downs, the difference is divorce isn't an option. God put us together. He is my total opposite, he drives me crazy, some days I want to punch him the throat. I don't that would be wrong, you can go to jail for that type of thing. My kids have bad days, they throw kicking and screaming tantrums, they hit each other, and back talk me like it's cool sometimes. 

If we're being real honest here, I haven't been a perfect princess either. I lose my temper, I yell, I wake up mad at the world for no reason. It's a choice though, I can choose to a wicked witch, or I can choose joy. 

I like to choose joy, sometimes though it takes me a little time to get it together. When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future. Ecclesiastes 7:14 

I am very fond of the book of Job. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong, his wife is telling him to just give up (die). I love when he says in Job 2:10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.